20 Rules To Follow:
(a.k.a. a little tattoo humor)
- Do not EVER call a tattoo a "Tat."
- Do not move or talk with your hands, tense your muscles or sing out to your friend to get you a beer.
- Do not fart or burp in the tattoo artist’s face.
- Do not ask the tattoo artist how long it took to get his/her tattoos done or how much they cost.
- Do not ask your tattoo artist who's the "best" artist in the shop- you're looking at him.
- Do not EVER use the term "slinging ink" or any variation of the term.
- Do not ask the tattoo artist if it’s going to hurt- it is!
- Do not ask the tattoo artist if he can ‘numb’ the area first- he can’t.
- Do not ask the tattoo artist if anyone has ever stopped in the middle of a tattoo- they have.
- Do not call a tattoo machine a "gun!" There is no such thing as a "tattoo gun."
- Do not ask the tattoo artist how many tattoos he does a day or how much money he makes.
- Do not ask the tattoo artist what the different machines are for.
- Do not ask the tattoo artist what sort of ink he uses.
- Do not ask the tattoo artist how he got into tattooing.
- Do not ask the tattoo artist if he tattoos dicks. (He may say "I'm doing one right now.")
- Do not answer your cell phone while you’re getting tattooed. In fact, turn the damn thing off unless your wife is ‘expecting.’
- Do not tell the tattoo artist that you have a friend who can draw really ‘good’ and would make a great tattoo artist, if only someone would give him/her a chance.
- Do not tell the tattoo artist the story of the guy who made a tattoo gun out of a cassette, motor, toothbrush, and a guitar string.
- Do not tell the tattoo artist that it doesn't hurt anymore.
- Do not look directly into the eyes of your tattoo artist.
Please Do Not Attempt To Heckle The Artist, As He Is Likely Armed And Under The Influence Of Prozac.
Finally it is done! You look at the finished tattoo and it exceeds all your wildest expectations. It shines like gold and you marvel at the precision, the artistry, the skill application, and the bright colors.
You may at this point tell the tattooist any of the following:
- Its beautiful, its excellent, its brilliant, its fantastic!
- I love it, you are a genius, you are a true, gifted artist, its better than I ever hoped for!
- You are the most brilliant and talented artistic genius in the whole world and I will be eternally grateful to you for the rest of my life!
- Here's a $100 tip for doing such a great job!
All Other Questions Are Subject To Charge As Follows:
Correct Answers- $20
**Dumb Looks Are Still Free.